Ahem.. what's the agenda?

Today's post, instead of reporting the liturgy of the day's events...
Share about the tap on the shoulder from my Abba, Father..

I have the sense of impending doom in terms of the weakness of my own "human nature" when holidays arrive, not that I don't thoroughly enjoy the sleep-ins, the spontaneity in the day's agenda and the luxury of being a princesss in my own home in Singapore. (no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning!)

The thing is, the danger in taking a holiday from routine is that it messes up with my daily meeting with Abba. The spontaneity of each day requires extra discipline to get away, feed on the word of God, get refreshed in the spirit, and yah due to my lack of discipline basically my transmission got interrupted.. no good no good.. I dont' know my agenda

Perhaps, that's one reason why the Christ was always so disciplined. He always made it a point to connect with the Father, the early morning get-aways before the rest of the world awoke.

Read John11 yesterday about the raising of Lazarus:
The lesson I learnt from this well-know story? Jesus always knew His agenda, even news about Lazarus His buddy's life-threatening situation didn't cause Him to leave what He planned to do.
This line baffled me;

" So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was." - John 11:6

Doesn't one rush to see if He could go and help His friend? Why stay two more days?? After all He would be able to heal Lazarus.
Fortunately, Jesus knew the Father's agenda that through the miracle of raising Lazarus the people would believe that God the Father had sent Him.We know of it from what He said to Martha:

"Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?" - John 11:40

Jesus then proceeds to pray then calls out "Lazarus comes forth!"and He raises him from the dead.

Ok, that didn't quite sound as spectacular as it should have but many believed in Christ from there.

More importantly, the miracle raised the attention of Caiaphas the high priest. A meeting was called in regards to it, "then, from that day on, they plotted to put Him to death." John11:53

Hence the plotting of the cruxifixion, the fulfillment of prophecy that Christ would die for the nation. That was the start of fulfilling Christ's ultimate goal, the death upon the cross for our sin. All in God's agenda, a step at a time, stay 2 days, go to Bethany to see Lazarus, raise him, get in trouble with the pharisees so they would plot to crucify Him etc..

The "Ahem" resounded during caregroup, in the midst of praise and worship when Tze Yee shared a word about idols, about distractions, about ideologies things that we've put in place of our relationship with God. We can still do church, still be anointed, still pray given skill or past experience but the authenticity of it is lost. I remember discussing the importance of authentic Christianity with Fiona during shepherding and its come back to remind me once again.

What is my false idol? My own agenda.

The dumb thing of the matter has re-occurred. I have gone one whole round or thinking, questioning about what is the agenda that God has for my life instead of going straight to the source. When I said I'll pray and seek God, it has all along been my own assumptions and evaluations i.e. head knowledge. The entertainment of thoughts and fantasies of the future that has distracted me from getting on my knees where I should have started from, to listen to that small still voice I know so well. Thank You to Tze Yee who boldly spoke that word! I have now gone once again seek Him about it..

He knows that we are but dust..