Purification

Just when u think u're there, something happens to realise you're not all that ready, not all that strong, not all confident .. that there's still so much to learn... Its so sobering when u realise, you're not there yet, that u need God ALL THE TIME...

Had one of those moments.. it was like a slap in the face, sharp, sobering and it woke me up with the pain it inflicted.

"So here I am again, willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain
Tell me what if I to do, to die and then be raised, to reach beyond the pain
Like the flower in the rain" - Jaci Valequez, flower in the rain

God you're sifting my heart.

" No man is worthy of me who cares more for father or mother than for me; no man is worthy of me who cares more for a son or a daughter; no man is worthy of me who does not take up his cross and walk in my footsteps.
By gaining his life a man will lose it, by losing his life for my sake, he will gain it.."

I want to do what's right.
I want to glorify Him.
I want to be taught.
I want to trust
I want to surrender
and most of all.. I want to be close.

So Satisfied

John Piper wrote
" God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. "

Thought about that... What does this mean? I've always thought about that question... what does it mean to glorify God? What is glory?

Dutch Sheets' intercessory prayer writes that:
"The greek word for glory, doxa involves the concept of recognition. It is that which causes something or someone to be recognized for what it really is. When we read in scripture that humankind is the glory of God (1Cor11:7) , it is telling us God was recognized in humans. Why? So humans could accurately represent Him.. "

Linking back to what John Piper wrote.. Glory i.e means that God is most represented in us when we are most satisfied in Him..

* smile *

Hehe.. I think I've been giving God glory then... its funny how I've been so so so so happy to live my life. It means that I can exalt god by trusting in Him and desiring Him above anything else in my life. And when I live my life in satisfaction in Him it speaks a whole lot louder than words that He is more fulfilling than career, relationship, positions, popularity etc..

Recently I laid upon His altar something very precious to me, after much thought and time in prayer as an offering. Only the best for my God. God asked me to Trust Him.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of Your heart.
Commit Your way to the Lord.
Trust also in him, And He shall bring it to pass. " - Psalm 37: 3-5

He shall bring it to pass. I just have to trust and commit everything I do to Him. O to tame these unruly affections as Elisabeth Elliot puts it. A deep commitment to God. He's making it easier for me by daily speaking to me, its funny how close I feel to God. His Spirit speaking to mine, and me spontaneously praying and talking to Him in the midst of my everyday activities. Hope no one thinks I'm MAD!?! haha do I care? not really I'll say!

I love having little secrets between us... Things that I only share with Jesus and no one else. Secrets that God whispers to me when I pray. The perks of being an intercessor, when u pray for others, God reveals things about praying for urself more effectively too. Its like a VIP card.

His instruction to me this season.

"Let us build these cities and make walls around them, and towers, gates, and bars, while the land is yet before us, because we have sought the Lord our God; we have sought Him, and He has given us rest on every side." So they built and prospered." - 2 Chronicles 14:7

The land before me is my caregroup. Vineyard. I love them more than I can express. To build the solid foundation in Christ in all of them. If only I could tell them, to share with them this experience of intimacy with God that can't be compared with anything in this world.

NOW for the little things I thank Him for.

For the song HE put in my heart when I was doing my sample analysis on Monday. Spontaneously singing in the machine room while running the samples.

"You mean everything to me, Lord you are so faithful.
Where I want to be is in Your presence.
That's where I belong where Your Spirit's falling on me.
That's where I feel strong where Your grace is upon me.
You've given me a song and now I want to worship in Your presence
And I only want to live for You. Giving You glory in all that I do.." - Parachute Band

For a resolved conflict with a friend and sister.. I thank Him for wisdom and love.

For a silly mood and cutting my fringe ridiculously short!

For my honey from Melbourne. Sue Lee..

This girl has inspired me since day1, I knew her before I came to know Jesus and now as when we've both grown in God in separate cities we still are able to share our lives as openly as before.
She's truly someone I admire, leader of this group called Street life in Melbourne where they go in a team to pick up bread from Bakeries and distribute them in the commission flats. Last year they ran a local version of Operation Christmas child where they linked the giving hearts of their church community to pack shoe boxes of gifts for the children living in commission flats... The impact? wow..
Her passion amazes me.. Everytime I think of her it reminds me of the song "testify to love". Her life is a testimony.


And of course to top it off !!!! I finally got my Keds shoes today!! yay.. =) * beam*
my turquoise floral skimmers

ARGH!!!!

I'm frustrated!
I hate having to live up to expectations.. I am but dust, I am but human

I hate to have to appear perfect to always do what's right...

don't stumble this person, that person. Do this do that
Be careful. Be aware. BLAHBLAH

You're a leader, you're supposed to..
Why did u do that?
ARGH!!!

I am not perfect
I just want to be normal
I just want to love God and live happily ever after...

Let me off please world..
Good-bye my love......