Today we had couples day at Neutral Bay Anglican Church where we're getting married and we had a session about communication:
Been having a tough time in our engagement, some storms here and there with our families and in our finances.. also raised up personality traits that we couldn't quite stand... We were fighting almost every week, me talking and complaining more and he just kept getting quieter and quieter
And today the break through... taking time to say these words
" I feel... " - one party
"What I hear you saying is... " - the other party
Sounded quite silly when we practiced it but slowly they started to make a big difference in our understanding of what the other person was trying to convey..
Later David Ould (our pastor married to a Singaporean!) revealed to us the results of our compatibility survey and a big one we didn't think too much about was our family background and the way things get done in our homes would reflect in our relationship and marriage.
My family: slice and dice say what you mean and say it with full gusto~ efficient, decide and do it
His family: quiet like him, agree to keep the peace, more disorganised and last minute
Ahhh... there must have been a lot of lightbulbs above our heads today... Suddenly there is hope.. we can work it out but its going to take a lot of hard work, me learning to keep quiet and encourage him, him learning to speak up and have confidence.
There's no the one, the one is the one u pick and u work it out with the one you pick!
The Luckiest - Ben Folds FiveI dont get many things right the first timeIn fact, I am told that a lotNow I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and fallsBrought me hereAnd where was I before the dayThat I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everydayAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestWhat if Id been born fifty years before youIn a house on a street where you lived? Maybe Id be outside as you passed on your bikeWould I know? And in a white sea of eyesI see one pair that I recognizeAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestI love you more than I have ever found a way to say to youNext door theres an old man who lived to his ninetiesAnd one day passed away in his sleepAnd his wife; she stayed for a couple of daysAnd passed awayIm sorry, I know thats a strange way to tell you that I know we belongThat I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiest